How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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