My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my sisters under your porch take her home
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
