she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
