That's intense
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
