You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My butt remains clenched, sir.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
