I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
