i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
