he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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