Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
North Korea, Best Korea!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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