I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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