So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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