my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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