I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
