Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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