found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
