Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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