glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
