That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
