He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
