I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This is my gift to your gina
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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