smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
