Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wat bout pragnant strippers??
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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