I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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