You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
