i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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