We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
