I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
