Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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