Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
