North Korea, Best Korea!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
