yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
