Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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