Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the night ended with taco bell and tears
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
