Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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