Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
