I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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