If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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