What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
