it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
