I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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