the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you win again, gameday.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
