some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
