Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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