Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
