Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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