i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
