the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
