Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
