Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
