yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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