If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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