Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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