I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize