Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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