How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
