when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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