just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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