If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
