Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize