i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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