my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I love you. Go after that dick
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize