This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
