GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
