You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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