ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize